Saturday, July 18, 2009

 

    On Wednesday, I tried to prostitute myself by going out into the night. I made an excuse that I had a night time job at the gas station. Clearly, my mother wasn't impressed. She was such a PRICK!!!!! She wouldn't let me gp out at night!!!!  I'm so angry at her!!   It's like she has to destroy my life!!!!!! Someday, I'll move out of this small town and go to L.A. I'll become a porn star. I will do anything to become a porn star. Alas, I'm still a virgin, which SUCKS!! Maybe in August, when school starts, I'll lie and say that I'm going to stay over at a friend's house. That way, I can hang around the streets and fuck different guys.

   I'll need a plane ticket to L.A. And I'll need to drop out of school.

   Dropping out will be difficult to do, since the administrators are shitheads. I'm selling my mattress to get the plane ticket.

   On Wednesday, I noticed at a mole on my right hip is changing colors. I was reading an old article in Glamour magazine and it was about skin cancer. I checked the mole and it had the ABC signs of skin cancer. It didn't have the "D" sign...which is when the mole might be more than 6 mm, it could be cancerous. I searched two days for ways to get to the dermatologist. There is one in Doraville, but I can't drive yet so I've decided to take public transportation. My mind changed. I want to take a taxi to the dermatlogist. the tricky thing is finding a way to come back home. There are no MARTA routes near the dermatologist's area. So I'll have to walk home. I'll need to call. It's very urgent. Unfortunately, my telephobia is getting in the way. I need to take a deep breath and go for it.

" If you're going to wait to do something, then you're never going to do it."

" Now or never." Ah. The classic quote. It helped me get over my fear of leaving my house two years ago.